Tuesday 28 July 2009

harder faster

Monday's used to be the easy days but not anymore. If you're a reserve, covering holiday leave/sicko's then they're even worse. Every week a new walk to learn. No training, no welcome, no nothing. Find the right frame and go. A strange empty frame looms over you, a bewildering array of street names and numbers flash before your ragged eyes and you haven't even picked up a letter yet. Chances are, the first one you pick up will probably be a missort so you waste extremely valuable minutes desperately scanning the huge huge frame and names and numbers and colours, and missing bits..where the hell is it?? It's not here mate...move on...you inwardly scream and feel the sweat forming- the minutes turn to hours...everyone else is off for a coffee...shit, there's mountains of mail to wade through..stuff in the stupid pathetic slots in seemingly random order...Oh God, help me...

Friday 24 July 2009

the magic word

I ask the guy to "print and sign here please". I proffer the docket to sign. It's obvious he's drop down pissed. I hand him the pen and he bandies it around mid air while I follow the nib with the book. Talk about the pinning the fucking tail on the donkey. It's 10a.m. and he's shit faced. I noticed the garden straight away at the beginning of the week. Filthy toys strewn like plane wreck victims. A huge (once white?) three piece leather suite with glass table, now shit streaked and full of empty shot glasses. A large rusty barbecue. The same fiery faced gumbo mate slumped in his trundle-trolley, grizzled and pickled in white lightning. Fucking hell, I thought Ryelands was rough but this one street matches it and then some. Dogs? How about stray horses??