Ho ho..NO. It's Spring you evil bastards, no sane person needs a Christmas catalogue just yet, especially such shoulder-crushingly heavy ones. But since when has sanity meant anything? For two days this week (that's MAY) I had to look at Santa's jolly red face (mine was red but not so jolly) as the Spring sunshine burned down on my nerve torn back.
Friday 28 May 2010
Monday 24 May 2010
donkey dog
'Let me show what I do with these' my colleague says.
He then rips off the bright red Recorded label and stuffs the, now ordinary, packet through the letterbox.
'But don't let me teach you my bad habits' he cackles.
I'm being trained. i.e. being shown the ropes by a cynical, bitter and twisted old bastard. It's Royal Mail policy.
Trained on a 'rural' (webbed hands) walk as the frame doesn't correspond in any way whatsoever with reality, and the reality is pretty grim. My head is hurting. I've spent the past hour trying to follow my 'trainer' but he's racing ahead, spouting this and that. All the roads are merging into one semi-detached mush and I'm lost.
He then rips off the bright red Recorded label and stuffs the, now ordinary, packet through the letterbox.
'But don't let me teach you my bad habits' he cackles.
I'm being trained. i.e. being shown the ropes by a cynical, bitter and twisted old bastard. It's Royal Mail policy.
Trained on a 'rural' (webbed hands) walk as the frame doesn't correspond in any way whatsoever with reality, and the reality is pretty grim. My head is hurting. I've spent the past hour trying to follow my 'trainer' but he's racing ahead, spouting this and that. All the roads are merging into one semi-detached mush and I'm lost.
Wednesday 12 May 2010
spring bore
Cameron's chair is still warm from Gordon's arse and already the old Tories are acting as Lords of misrule. Today in WHSmiths I was blatantly queue jumped by two Express reading pensioners who then barged past me...I threw my Beano down in disgust and walked out.
Is this a measure of our brave new world to come? Lib Dems, for shame.
That dark political cloud has hung over me (and most of my colleagues) all day. In the van this morning there was a (much more than usual) defeated air...like a scene from the Fugitive. Then I saw the muddy banks of the Lune being washed over by an incoming wave, the Lune Bore (fuck you Severn).
Is this a measure of our brave new world to come? Lib Dems, for shame.
That dark political cloud has hung over me (and most of my colleagues) all day. In the van this morning there was a (much more than usual) defeated air...like a scene from the Fugitive. Then I saw the muddy banks of the Lune being washed over by an incoming wave, the Lune Bore (fuck you Severn).
Wednesday 5 May 2010
badgering blues
My ice cold heart has been warmed these past weeks by the very funny amendments made to local Tory billboards. As my mobile still has a dial and a bell I wasn't able to capture these digimally. Only this morning I chuckled out loud in the communal van as we drove past the latest Tory poster/victim...'let's cut benefits for those who refuse war' it states, and sausage face Cam is wielding a huge machine gun.
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