My ice cold heart has been warmed these past weeks by the very funny amendments made to local Tory billboards. As my mobile still has a dial and a bell I wasn't able to capture these digimally. Only this morning I chuckled out loud in the communal van as we drove past the latest Tory poster/victim...'let's cut benefits for those who refuse war' it states, and sausage face Cam is wielding a huge machine gun.
Classic. My favourite was the most discreet (since painted over by Cam's dutiful fags) at the bottom of the billboard it said 'vote Conservative' to which had been added 'we're begging you'. Sums it up. If Cam says he's going to 'roll his sleeves up' once more...
The election has caused me much pain. Last week we were assured there's be no more election material to deliver. Cue 4 more leaflets as the week progresses. Cue overtime, left bags etc. I had 660 addresses to deliver last week. Not only is that 660 knackered fucking gates to wrestle with, it's also nearly 5000 leaflets to sort and stuff through holes. The election leaflets are very sensitive, we're not allowed to stuff them inside your farmfoods brochure so they have to sorted one by one. If you got your mail late last week blame the Tories. They're verging on harassment with their multiple mailings, all those trees dying in vain...All the parties' leaflets were shoddy affairs, though the Greens' was well designed, and green. Still on dead trees I expect. They all featured shitty pics of their respective candidate, apart from the Tories who had Cam's balloon bonce plastered everywhere and no sign of Eric Othelthwaite or whatever his name is. Cam was everywhere, pictured hunched over his writing desk, clutching pen as if HE was writing to YOU personally. Still, at least it wasn't the Independent candidate. His photo looked as if he was trapped in a glacier, a very thick glacier. They go to all the time and expense to produce tens of thousands of these things only to supply a photo taken though a pinhole.
I just resented these things and the fact we had no extra time in which to do them, that's why I had to leave a few bags in order to get home to lead my other life (otter baiter).
Today I got rid of the last of 'em and it's up to us all to ensure glacier man and sausage face never gets to roll his fucking sleeves up. Vote wisely.
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